.renunicates.

[MY`OATHS]

Sunday, June 18, 2006

ive got this big canvas to paint.
i havent started on it yet.
i only have till july to complete it.
i dont think i have time to finish it.
especially not within this holiday.
im very very tempted to book a flight to bora bora on 26june.
run away to bora bora when the school term starts.
damn.

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 9:09 PM!

and maybe one day i would find the guy that would make me want to scream in frustration and laugh in exasperation at the same time.
and maybe one day i would finally know how to get a hold on my imagination and not let it shoot ahead of me with its fantasies and leave me disappointed when im finally brought down to earth with a crash.
and maybe one day i would not need to find happiness in a book.

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 8:22 PM!

it sucks to be at home on this sunday, when i can stay out till god knows what time cause there's no school tomorrow.. darn.
i had the choice of going out alone. but i didnt. cause.. i cant think of anywhere i want to go. besides, i dont see the point of dressing up and heading out just to read a book at times bookshop in plaza singapura.. or make myself feel pathetic as i look at the crowd surrounding me and the empty space beside me. lols. bahh. sort of gotten used to it? indulging in selfpity works sometimes. hahas. had fun indulging in it the last time and had some surprising results. hahas.
hmm..
am off to eat my sausages and drink my milo [my lunch]. dont think that i cooked the sausages well enough though. =X

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 4:28 PM!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

long time since i talked to wenna, eunice and huifang. much less been a pool session with them.. missed that time we played for four hours straight. lols. tiring, but fun. had so much fun and laughter. was happy to realise that i can have as much fun around girls as with guys. cause during the past few times that i find myself in all female company [more than 2 people] i found it quite a drag- was bored out of my mind, even though we were doing shopping. hehh. maybe it's cause of the activities?? heh. anyhow. am glad that i found girls to play pool with. yayness. and that they like to play pool too. hmm.. maybe shall have a pool session on thursday, seeing that we're not really free anytime after that.
am afraid that ive screwed up yet another friendship.. hais. damn. why am i always doing things that i tell myself not to?
it's true- humans dont learn from their past mistakes, no matter what they say. no matter how much they swear that they would not repeat it. seems to be inevitable that they would end up committing the same mistake.. heh.
blah..
am going for a trip to sentosa this coming monday with alicia, casherine and her boyfriend. and maybe nina? hmm. not sure. hahas =D yay- get to wear my new swimsuit ^.^ wheee. hahas! =D am kinda excited. but the thing is that i would be going back to school for my dental appointment in the morning. am going to meet up with them after that. and go on to sentosa- yayy! ^.^ hahhas.
was watching figure skating clips on youtube just now [youtube has become the cure for my boredom as i surf its pages for videos pertaining anything of interest to me at the moment]. admire those figure skaters of olympic standards. they make it look to easy to jump and do three quick spins in the air, going into their spins so effortlessly.. the applause that the audience gives them at the end of their performance is the reward for all their hardwork. seems very painful to land on the cold hard ground of ice. imagine how many times they mustve fallen when just mastering a new skill. there's no crash mat for them to cushion the impact of the ground. the bruises. ouch. if i were them.. X_X dont think i can even survive. =blahh..
maybe when i die and get reincarnated, i would become someone famous. hahas! =D or maybe i would be a bimbo. it's easy to let your bust size do the talking- lols. imagine that!
ew.
hehh.
maybe i would be a debaunte. their gowns are nice. hahahs. but it seems pretty boring to be planning parties all day long, trying to coordinate what flower, what colour scheme is to be used, who to invite, how to socialise.. nope.. that seems to be what an event organiser do. but event organiser sounds nicer. think that there's more work involved than meets the eye.
o no.
im throughly lacking in IQ. X_X
sighs. is it cause of the education system? when we are so wrapped up in our daily schedules of school, homework, computer and stuff that we dont even know how or what the working world is like?
overseas, they have job experience programmes and stuff. here we have it too. but i think that the difference is that overseas they get to try their hand at the hotel, maybe as the chambermaid [cant think of a better term], see how the restaurant is ran and stuff.. quite practical and useful as a guide as to what they would like to do in the future. here. our work experience consists of jobs in the zoo or nursery. for goodness sake, please offer a wider range.. -.- not everyone of us aspires to be a zookeeper or someone who takes care of whiny kids [i know, not all are like that but.] maybe the government's trying to appeal to the student population's maternal instinct.. heh. and maybe would help in boosting the child birth rate in singapore. hello. we are 13-17years of age. the age where we are most likely to be interested in stuff like trends and videogames [stereotyping here. sorry] maybe the nursery programmes and stuff are fine for the lower secondary students. but maybe you can offer something more.. adultlike for the upper secondary? those business thingy.. maybe see how it's run and stuff. i dont know. urgh. i dont know the right term and stuff.
damn.. am feeling dumb
X_X

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 10:33 PM!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

urrgh.
if only the world's a much simpler place.. if only it's a few centuries back. where it can be alright not to go to school. and only the priviledge can go. but then. it's inevitable that the poor would start to demand to be schooled and girls would begin to make demands of their own. to be scholors like the guys instead of the stereotypical housemaker they are expected/supposed to be.. and then people would be complaining.. bah. sad that we dont know how to cherish stuff when it comes so readily to us.
dont think that any of us has to fight for a place in a school. cause it's granted that there would be schools available. it's only a matter of how good the facilities are.
bleaghs
im better off reading romance novels- hahas!

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 11:45 AM!

Monday, June 12, 2006

a few months can make a big difference. some may become attached, some may breakup, some may learn more about themselves..
life's a constant journey, taking us to different places with each different experience. the things that we do may be the same. but the outcome may be different. we may seem to have a routine. but the routine's content is everychanging.
heh heh.
i intend to make it all the same.
imagine that, will you?
hahas, imagine studying the same stuff everyday.
wow.
that's crazy- it's like hedgesmt day.. there's this movie in which the guy wakes up every morning and does the same thing. or rather, the people around him does the same thing; says the same thing to him. didnt watch that movie, so i have no idea how it ended.. hahas.
gives a whole new meaning to routine.

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 7:30 PM!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

when ever i lose my temper at my mother, she would ask me when would i change my temper for the better? and she would go on saying about how i would not be able to find someone to be with cause of my temper yada yada..
hello.. my temper's part of me. it comes with me. so love me or leave me.
besides, i generally dont blow up at my friends the way i blow up at my family members.. i know that it's not a good thing. but it's me. and i see no need to change it, just yet. maybe it's cause i havent met someone whom im willing to change it for. maybe i dont love them enough to change for them? i dont know. i just know that i wouldnt want to change it for anyone. unless that person is really worth changing for..
bahh..
anyway..
me and zw have agreed upon the point that it is esstential for couples to talk and share beyond the present, beyond the time they know each other and stuff like that. helps give a clearer picture as to the person that they really are..
am not an expert on such stuff hence i will not elaborate more.
=\

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 9:49 PM!

i bet that many of us have lain in bed at night, thinking about the what-mightve-beens and how would it be like in the future.. ive done that countless of times, not necessarily at night.. during daytime, during classes. in between lessons. yeah.
blah.
would we still be in contact? calling each other up on weekends for a round of pool? or dinner together? we always say that we'll do so. but in actual fact how many of us are willing to take the initiative? how many would be willing to follow it through?
slightly depressing actually.. hehh.. -_-"

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 4:22 PM!

finally went back to gym yesterday.. am suffering from muscle aches. must be cause i havent went back in lyk 1month? if im not wrong. oh well, nice to know that my muscles are having a work out. heheh =D vavavoom! ^.^
the june10th outing was cancelled due to a lack of response and my mother suddenly deciding that ive spent too much in the past few days.. quite true. heheh. =D obliged to her wishes and stayed home that night. but not before going out that afternoon after gym. heheh.

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 4:15 PM!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

and i sat at my desk staring at windows messenger screen. wondering, wondering what should my first sentence be? moved my cursor to X. and closed the window.

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 8:14 PM!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

time's passing by pretty fast. very soon, school for secondary4s and 5s are going to end and holidays would come breezing through our doors and leave by the window soon after and back to school once again. the pace will be much faster this time round as teachers prepare to cram all their notes down the students' unwilling throats. one by one they will choke and die. not. hahas.
sorry about that last line =D seems logical that they will choke. then and again, it might not happen..
anyhow.
those having school need not complain that other people are having their holiday and you have to go back school. cause it seems to me that all other schools are doing the same to their graduating students. heh. which sane principal wouldnt do that? which sane teacher would actually let their students take a break? gosh.. talk about sadistic- they were once students. they should know how it feels to be cooped up in school while everyone else you know are enjoying life out in town.. or maybe it's because they are adults now and know how some would regret not having someone to push them to study more and get better grades.. bah..
understanding is the keyword.
yeah, i understand that it is for our own good.
but why is it so that i still complain whenever i hear that there would be remedial or whatever shit thing teachers come up with?? such as meeting her during recess to improve on my oral skills. bah.
maybe it's because i dont see how picture discussion is going to help me close a deal or get me a job. it's not as though your potential boss would hand you a picture of a family in a park and ask you to describe it, making all the correct assumptions and elaborating how beneficial it would be- eg 'oh, it is important for families to spend time with each other as it would improve communication and encourage a close knit family. it would let them realise the importance of a family', and you go on to elaborate how it is that they would take time off their work and stuff to focus on their family.
then and again, the boss might be happy to find someone with E.Q. cause we cant seem to find enough people in singapore with E.Q. and hire you on the spot.
hmm.
tell me if that scenerio is going to happen. if it's going to happen then maybe i would not underestimate the power of oral examination.
anyway.
oral examination just sounds so wrong..

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 2:24 PM!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

alicia's birthday today..
enjoyed myself to a certain extent- it was fun until we went to orchard. freaking hell.. tio ps.. =[ went home with doreen in the end.. bahh..
arrgh.
independence in all aspects girl. remember. independence

& a LIFELONG oath of rebellion. 11:11 PM!