sometimes certain things in life just makes me want to believe that true love and stuff like that does exist. but that feeling only happens after i watched an episode of wang zi bian qing wa, which is full of romance. the sweet kind. the kind that would give one warmth even on a cold day, like hot chocolate. unlike hot chocolate, one can go back and taste it again and again cause memories are something that is a part of us. something that we would remember for lives. how the wind felt on your skin, and the likes. memories are always there. never failing.. that is, until you get amnesia.
actually i have no objection to getting amnesia. i would look upon it as some kind of adventure. but it needs the right people to make it a fun and fulfilling adventure. lols. imagine if you meet a cheat or a pervert when one got amnesia. that's terrible. who knows what would happen to you? scary.
anyhow. erm. yeah. wang zi bian qing wa. so. after i watch that show i would feel very happy. then i would think of my past experiences. and there goes the feeling. it makes me feel as though im like an alien. cause everyone seems to be able to experience it. except for me? okae. maybe not. i think that the problem with me is that i want so much. yet im not willing to work for it. in this case, ive got to open to my true emotions. somehow in one way or another i would always keep my emotions bottled up. no. i would still keep a part of my emotions with me. sorry to zhen wen and maria. it is true that i feel what i feel, but i think that there is always a part of my feelings that i would keep inside, no matter how much ive expressed my feelings or comments over it.. i dont know why.. shall think about it, i guess. yeah.. so.
i swear. that in my next relationship. if and when i happen to want or be in one. i would and i will do my best to give my all and dont care about the consequences.
i swear. that i wont think about it ending.
i swear that i would do my darnest to ensure that nothing that happened in my past couple of relationships.
i swear.
